Come closer

“I don’t want to reward that bad behavior. All they want is attention, but if I give it, we’ll never get over this hump.”

A friend wondered aloud about how to deal with misbehaving toddlers. “I don’t want to just snuggle them up when they act like that.”

I sighed. My dear, dear friend. I know. But snuggle them. Pull them close, close, close. I misbehave when I want attention, too. And I want a hug and a smile. Snuggle them up now. Maybe when they are 19 they’ll still be willing to get a hug from you. They’ll still come close when they’ve been messing up. And they’ll want your warmth as love and forgiveness.

Come closer. Even closer. Come so close that I can feel your breath.

Be with me now. Just come close and be. We don’t have to talk. We don’t have to solve anything. We can just be close, in a space, together.

Open my front door and come in. There is laundry on the kitchen counter. Come in anyway.

The sofa is standing on end while we try to fix the broken leg. We didn’t finish up that project because someone needed something else. Come in and come close anyway. Sit down on the floor with me. We’ll just be.

Christmas exploded all over the house and hasn’t pulled itself back into it’s hiding place. A half worked puzzle is on that table. I’m not sure it will ever get completed. Come in anyway. Come close.

Send me a text to tell me how you are doing. Text me five times today. I want to know. I might not always respond, but I want to know. Come close with your words. Come so much closer.

You broke my favorite teapot today. I exploded a bit when it happened. Come closer anyway. Come and give me a hug. Come be with me.

I know the power of your touch and your embrace.

In Ted Lasso star player Jamie Tartt fails to deliver a victory. Sitting defeated in the locker room, Jamie looks up to see his wild (and drunk) father standing in the door. His father begins to ridicule him loudly in front of the whole team. Jamie asks him to stop. The father gets in his face and refuses. Jamie asks calmly again. The father amps up the cruelty. Finally Jamie punches his father in the jaw. The team silently watches while Coach Beard wrestles the dad out the door. Everyone stands in silence. Slowly, grumpy and tough Roy Kent begins walking across the room towards Jamie. The two have always hated each other. Roy walks up silently and forcefully embraces Jamie. Tight. He hugs and hugs. Jamie collapses on his shoulder and weeps. Roy continues to hold him while Jamie slowly returns the embrace.

Come closer, friends. We all need a little Roy Kent.

In 2020 we stayed apart. And we stayed close. So close to a few people and so far from others. As we came out of our little caves, everything seemed a little different. Friendships had shifted. Heads had grown taller. Voices had deepened. Mustaches started to grow. Allegiances and habits changed. We had been apart so much that we forgot how to be together. And we had been so close with others that we needed a break. But not really.

2023 is my year to come closer. Please come closer with me.

This year, when they need it, my tweens stay up a little later and watch silly cartoons with me. When I can, I jump on an airplane to see my kid miles away. We eat shwarma and talk about nothing.

I drive an extra 30 minutes for brunch with a friend that has known me so, so long. I feel grounded and trusted and loved in that hour of conversation.

I take an unexpected phone call from a dear friend. We unload. Really unload. Unload the things that weren’t there when we were 19. Weights have piled on over the years.

Life is so dirty sometimes. Come closer. I’m not afraid of mud.

My door is open. The house is messy, but the samovar is hot. Tea is ready. Come closer.

Kiss me three times on the cheeks and grip my hand. I see you. Your pain might be bigger than mine. Or maybe not. Come closer either way.

Sit down and whine a bit with me. I promise to forget the hyperbole by morning. But I’ll remember the proximity. I’ll rejoice in the warmth of your smile near me and the sound of your voice on the phone. Come closer.

God in the Eastern Christian tradition is a Trinity – Three in One, all three unique and all three so close. A circle of love that pulls in closer and closer. Love that pulls each of us in with its gravity.

Lend me your gravity. Come close and share yourself with me. Circle up and pull closer. I can listen. And I can share. Come closer.

This is not a drill. I’m coming closer this year friends.

Come closer with me.